I remember picking braces colors

Whew, it’s been a while! Two months to be exact. My newsletter continues to be energy dependent, but I’m basically a walking, talking solar panel and look forward to sharing more musings this Spring. I have a couple drafts waiting in the wings—one is about letting go with love, and the other is a ten-minute read on my extended family history and Long COVID. I’m holding myself accountable, with love, of course.

In the words of this beautiful note (thank you, Rebecca Barry), I’ve been feeling the need to throw open the shutters of my heart and appreciate what’s in front of me.

So here’s something a little different today. A quick thing that came to me this morning. I’m going to let it see the light of day. I’d love to hear what you think.

Most mornings, I sit down with my sketchbook and a pack of markers. I pick the colors my eyes are drawn to that day. This morning, it’s teal and hot pink. Oh come on, I think to myself, what are you, a kid picking out braces?

omg omg YES i am a kid picking out rubber bands for my braces. i am a kid wearing 90s fashion, the first time. denim skirt and rainbow knee high socks and kelly green converse. green is my favorite color, but the dentist says i’ll look like i have food stuck in my teeth.

Is this what people mean when they say they feel safe enough to wear pink? I am safe enough to be “childish,” uncomplicated. The opposite of elevated. Honest.

i am safe enough to swing in the backyard and sing my heart will go on and ON, my head thrown back to the sky. the air smells like dandelions. i refuse to pick them. who said lawns had to be neat and tidy? probably the same people who said i did.

I am safe. Oh boy am I safe. I’m uneven and unkempt. My hair tickles my hips and has five inches of dead ends. I cancelled my hair appointment this week. I’m getting over a cold and decided to rest. I decided to notice the way the light beams through the blinds and checkers my cat’s fur.

There’s always next month.

straight from my sketchbook <3